"Update your blog, biyotch"

The title is a direct quote from my loving, eldest brother.  Thanks, Ger.  Anyway, this biyotch is blogging, ok?!

So, Day 2--the rains came.  And man, it just did not stop.  My plan was to take the Big Bus Tour (you know, touristy, double-decker, red bus deal) all the way around town to get my bearings and then figure out what I wanted to check out.  Yeah--that did not happen.  I have no problems being a tourist but I refuse to be one of those crazed take no prisoners tourists who will don the plastic poncho and work that double decker.  Uh uh, no ma'am, that is no what we do.  So I did what I do whenever it rains and I have no pressing matters...I take my sweet ass time.  I took a super-long shower and was pleasantly surprised to find out that my hand-held shower head was not alone in there--I looked up and saw a magical gigantic waterfall shower head mounted to the ceiling.  Thank you, God.

After extensive cleansing and primping (for no reason at all), I wandered in the direction of the closest tube station, Paddington.  By now it was late enough to consider lunch and still pouring so I walked into a cool looking brasserie called Phi, which is attached to the overpriced Hotel Indigo.  They had low, modern furniture upholstered in this trippy striped fabric.  I ordered a 3-course prix fixe lunch, whipped out my Time Out London, and settled in to avoid the rain.  Food was decent.  The place was cuter than the food was tasty, but not too bad.

After avoiding the inevitable for as long as I could, I went back out and figured it was time to get the whole cell phone situation taken care of.  I went into Paddington Train Station to look for a Vodophone or other similar store and unfortunately, found one.  The guys in there were total douche bags and not helpful at all.  When I brought out my phone and sim card (on loan from Tita Ina) and asked how to use it, they basically said to "put it in like normal and call this number."  Wow.  Thanks.  Realizing that they were not going to be helpful in any way, I went in search of Carphone Warehouse.  When I asked the newspaper man where it was, he pointed out directions and then helpfully added, "but ya know it's pourin out, right?"  Yes, thanks.  Five minutes later, I had found my destination and hoped for the best.  This time I hit the jackpot--a nice woman who felt my pain and helped me to set everything up, buy what I needed, etc.  Good times.  So, when in Europe and in need of a local mobile, I urge you to avoid the Voda jerks and head for Carphone Warehouse.

With new phone in hand, I headed back to the hotel to charge that bad boy so I could be prepared when Felicia called.  We planned to meet for dinner in Soho.  I plugged the phone in, started playing with settings and the manual and next thing you know, I'm startled awake from a hard sleep by the text msg buzz.  It's Felicia telling me she just left work.  Well shit!  Looks like that jet lag found me.  Panicked bcs I'm supposed to take the tube to get to her, and I hadn't gotten my ticket or looked at a map or anything (and knowing how confusing the NYC subway can be to a first-timer), I hauled ass out of there.  Of course, it was still raining, but what can you do.  (My trench coat, compact, yet sturdy umbrella and Ugg boots were the best things I could've brought on this trip.)  Thank God the London tube ended up being sort of like, NYC Subway Lite.  I went to the ticket man bcs the booths confused me, and the nice man gave me my card and told me the easiest route to my destination.  As I went to the escalator, another uniformed man was calling out directions to random travelers.  I got to the platform just in time to see my train pull out of the station.  Settling in for a long NYC wait, I sat down on a bench and was immediately shocked to find another train pulling into the station.  Cra-cra!  I was still stressed bcs I only had 15 mins to meet Felicia and about 4 stops to go--little did I know the tube moves at the speed of light and I was perfectly on time.  The London Tube is also weird in that it's like sitting in a tiny upholstered waiting area.  I dunno.  It's weird.  And HOT and stuffy.  Even when it's not crowded. Anyway...

I met Felicia in Oxford Circus and that place was insane!  People everywhere--like NYC Times Square on a sunny summer day.  Except it was like, 20 degrees and pouring rain out.  After fighting our way through the crowds, Fi pulled us into the Carnaby Street area to look for an appropriate place to eat.  I don't know how to describe it other than to compare it to the NYC Soho--it's very similiar.  We wandered around and eventually decided on an interesting looking place called "The Living Room."  It seemed normal enough and I was excited to try their random food.  Fi and I shared (I use the term "share" loosely since Fi doesn't eat) a couple small plates--Wok fried Edamame and Ginger (reeeaaally good) and a hummus and pita (eh...Astoria Greek is better).  Fi got a salad (surprise) and I decided to get two starters for my meal so I could check out their "high end" food.  I ordered Roast Saddle of Rabbit w/ Crisp Acorn Fed Ham and a Cider Cream and Prawn and Crab Cake with Crispy Shallot Rings and Cucumber Salad.  Yeah...fancy right?  I mean, I'm all about satisfying my inner foodie but I have to admit I was disappointed.  The rabbit was really dry and just blah.  The salad--really more like a garnish--that was served with it was the best part.  Sort of sesame tasting and honestly I never tasted the Cider Cream.  The Prawn and Crab Cake was better but it sort of didn't work.  I dunno.  I guess I just expected more.  I have to say the place is really cool though.  It's sort of huge and there's a VIP lounge and a big bar.  The best part though, is the bathrooms.  Yes, the bathrooms.  I asked the hostess where to go and she said, "go down the stairs and look for the shoe."  Yes...the shoe.  Ok.  Whatever.  I head downstairs and am a bit taken aback as I see only paneling and no doors, but considering there's a huge sink basin in the middle of the room, I assume bathrooms must be somewhere.  So I look for the shoe.  I looked up and literally saw a man's shoe coming out of the wall.  I blindly pushed at the walls until one swung open and realized by the smell before the sight, that this was certainly the mens room.  But then where the hell was the women's room?!  Slightly panicked now (what if someone comes down and sees me looking like a dear in headlights desperately needing to pee?) I'm searching the room for another shoe and FINALLY see a high heel coming out of another wall, almost blending in.  Annoying.  I walked in and knew I had found the place.  But that's not where the adventure ends.  For those of you who know me, you know I LOVE a kitschy bathroom.  Case in point, the fantastic toilets at Vynl Diner in Hell's Kitchen.  I try and take everyone I know there and encourage them to use the bathroom....more than once.  (If you dont' know what I'm talking about, I obviously need to take you there and soon.)  So imagine my glee when I opened a stall only to find the walls completely carpeted in oriental rugs and the back made to look like a bookcase in a study.  There was even old time radio being piped in.  It was awesome.

By this time, Fi had to head back and I took off back for my hotel.  Still raining.  Hard.  Overall, not a supremely eventful or tourist-satisfying day, but not a bad way to spend a rainy one...